My mom is a beast

My mom and aunt are like a modern day Mary and Elizabeth, no joke. Spiritual beasts.

I am so blessed.

Saaan Diaaagooooo!!!

I am fat again.

Anyway, here are some pics from San Diago…

Disneyland

The happiest place on earth. It really is hard not to be happy there.

…

Well I dropped that bomb. That was interesting.

Back home.

Missions…

I was taking a nap and this is the random conviction I had for myself…

It’s easy to go on missions when you’re surrounded by church people and people are telling you how noble and “sacrificial” it is to go and you have a hero’s return when you come back…

But are you still willing to go if no one even cared, if no one even KNEW that you were going, but it was just between you and God??? Are you still willing to give up your comfortable life and go to serve people in a lonely, desolate, foreign land???

This has to be my heart for missions. This is how I’ll know when I’m ready.

Day 22?- GLDI

I’m losing track of the days…

To minimize venting, I’m just gonna say this: I hate listening to lectures. This was true during all my school days. I didn’t even go to lectures in college, except my first semester.

With that in mind, 5 hours of apologetics…definitely not batman (which I haven’t seen and probably will have to see by myself when I return to the real world…)

And I’m getting fat again.

Alright, someone give me a compelling reason to stay or I’m out.

Day 20- GLDI

Everyone here calls me Francis. Kinda weird. I feel like a different person.

I am definitely being reminded of the importance of small groups. Here we have something called ‘family groups’ and it makes a world of a difference. Without my family group, life would be much much more difficult here. I was imagining being a freshman at school, not knowing anyone, and how difficult that transition must be. I never had to go through a crazy transition like that and always wondered why kyeon emphasized so much on having the family atmosphere during small group, but now I’m starting to understand how encouraging small group can be…maybe I’ll try to apply this in the fall…

By the way, this is NOT the halfway point. It’s more like 42 days or something…

Day 19- GLDI

Dang it, why did I get stuck with the girl heart motive???

Day 18- GLDI

I could be chilling, reading a book on the quad, while sipping on some sweet tea right now. Instead, I am learning about Hermeneutics. How did this happen???

Seminary week…here we go…

Biblical lesson: The main point of the book of Jonah is that God is in control of all things and His love covers a multitude of sins. Jonah was NOT afraid of the Ninevites, he was bitter and had racial prejudice towards them. Thus, he didn’t want the Ninevites to get saved because he knew if he preached and they repented, God would forgive them because God is gracious and compassionate. It’s about God, not Jonah. Amazing.

Application: We are incapable of loving the unlovable ourselves. When we love, it is because it is from God.

Personal lesson: After doing a lot of introspection lately, I realized my heart really drives how I feel and what I want to do. I definitely ran away from Champaign because I was bored, but I was bored cuz I wasn’t getting my heart fed. Obviously, coming here wasn’t gonna change that at all. It’s just the same situation, but I have no time to be bored anymore, haha.

Whatever ends up happening this week, (i.e. whether I stay or leave), I’ve learned so much about myself already. I think I’ve felt literally every emotion on my escapade, except maybe joy, haha. But anyway, I must always always remember that people ALWAYS fail, and only God can fully satisfy.

Please pray for me. My personal relationship with God (my quiet time and prayer life) went down the drain after coming here. I tried ridiculously hard to keep it going no matter what during the first week, but fatigue just overtook me. And that is one thing I really miss. I need hunger.