Like most people, my biggest 2 questions coming out of college were:
1) God, what am I supposed to do with my life?
2) God, who am I supposed to marry?
These are a few personal lessons I’ve learned these past 3 years trying to find the answers to these questions (mainly #1). Hopefully it will be helpful to somebody. 🙂
1) Just because we pray and fast, God doesn’t always answer.
I am one of those guys who puts a lot of weight on the ‘Seek and you will find’ passage. I remember in Africa, I had an opportunity to preach, and I was literally shouting this passage in people’s faces.
I want to share 2 quick stories:
1) Last year for Spring break, me and a few friends decided to go to a fasting prayer mountain. Why, you ask? To experience revival and witness the glory of God…duh. Anyway, we fasted. We prayed. We sang songs. We cried out. We walked around in the forest. Kyeon got a giant tick in his back. In the end, no clear answer. But it was refreshing.
2) Last summer, a certain elder suggested that I do a 3-day fast and God will surely show me the answer. So being the overachiever that I am, I made sure to do a 4-day fast (HA!) with the hopes of God supernaturally writing out my calling in the clouds. All I can remember was a miserable week and a ridiculously large pot of chicken porridge that I cooked up for myself.
When I met up with Dr. Steve, he shared that my perspective on prayer and God was skewed. My thinking was that just because I pray, God is OBLIGATED to answer me.
Dr. Steve used the example of the intertestamental period when God did not speak prophetically for 400 years. More than likely, there were a few righteous, God-seeking people during those hundreds of years seeking to hear from God? But God did not answer.
Look at the story of Job: (Job 40)
1 The LORD said to Job: 2 “Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him? Let him who accuses God answer him!” 3 Then Job answered the LORD: 4 “I am unworthy—how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. 5 I spoke once, but I have no answer—twice, but I will say no more.”
God does what he wants. Period.
God is not a genie, the Bible is not his lamp, and prayer is not rubbing it the right way. And as Dr. Michael Chupp (Tenwek) reaffirmed, “We can’t fast an answer out of God.” Regretfully, that is how I treated God throughout this process
[Disclaimer: I’m not saying we shouldn’t pray and seek. I can wholeheartedly testify that God answers prayers. The lesson is: as we pray, don’t treat God as a genie. Treat God as God. Remember the Luke 18:9 Bible study?]
2) Sometimes, God answers our prayers in unexpected ways.
As I was praying, I have to admit, a part of me really wanted to hear the voice of God or see a spectacular sign in the clouds. But as I’ve noticed many times, God used people to speak to me. 2 specific instances:
1) I remember talking to the Jeeps after a Sunday service. And BEFORE I said anything, she told me, “Don’t quit. Finish what you started.” After my initial shock, I explained to her my deal and she just told me, “Why can’t you do both?” I hate that answer, but there is some truth to her statement.
2) I remember in March at a Servant’s meeting, Pastor Min coming over and praying for me. This was really weird because he never prays for me. Like never. And he basically told me everything I needed to hear.
These are just 2 specific instances among many. My point is- God does answer our prayers, but sometimes it’s not in the ways we expect or want.
3) Don’t discount the supernatural.
Sometimes those crazy “coincidences” are really not coincidences. At the Passion 2010 conference, I felt like God spoke to me in 2 specific ways.
1) I went to a seminar by John Piper intended for missionaries who were soon leaving for the field. The topic did not pertain to any of us at all, but me and Kyeon snuck in anyway. [I know. We’re rebels.] To my surprise, guess how Piper started his seminar? He talked about how he planned to go into medicine in college, and how God changed his career path…I’ll let Piper explain:
Excerpt from ‘Don’t Waste Your Life’
In the fall of 1966 God was closing in with an ever narrowing path for my life. When he made his next decisive move, Noël wondered where I had gone. The fall semester had started, and I did not show up in classes or in chapel. Finally she found me, flat on my back with mononucleosis in the health center, where I lay for three weeks. The life plan that I was so sure of four months earlier unraveled in my fevered hands.
In May I had felt a joyful confidence that my life would be most useful as a medical doctor. I loved biology; I loved the idea of healing people. I loved knowing, at last, what I was doing in college. So I quickly took general chemistry in summer school so I could catch up and take organic chemistry that fall. Now with mono, I had missed three weeks of organic chemistry. There was no catching up. But even more important, Harold John Ockenga, then pastor of Park Street Church in Boston, was preaching in chapel each morning during the spiritual emphasis week. I was listening on WETN, the college radio station. Never had I heard exposition of the Scriptures like this. Suddenly all the glorious objectivity of Reality centered for me on the Word of God. I lay there feeling as if I had awakened from a dream, and knew, now that I was awake, what I was to do.
Through this seminar, more than God telling me to do this or that, I felt like God was telling me to simply trust Him. He wanted John Piper to be a minister of the Word, and GOD MADE A WAY. God is sovereign. If He wants you to do this or that, trust me, He’ll make a way.
2) Pastor Andy Stanley gave a sermon on the importance of character. At the time, I had applied for the MBA program, thinking that was the direction God was leading me. One line stuck out from that sermon. He was making a commentary on college cultural pressure with a line saying, “what are you going to major in, how many more hours, do you need a double major, DO YOU NEED AN MBA, do you need to go to graduate school, do you need to re-think classes…”
Check it out for yourself. (8:24) Great sermon btw.
This may be weird, but I just KNEW in my heart that I wasn’t going to get in. And I knew God was telling me I didn’t need an MBA. It’s one of those inexplicable feelings. 3 months later, my rejection letter was in the mail. But I wasn’t surprised. My point is: sometimes, God relays messages in crazy ways. Not frequently, but it happens. [Disclaimer: always check stuff with the Bible]
4) Be careful not to make “Finding your calling/purpose” your idol
Dr. Steve brought up another insightful point—he asked if I was elevating the idea of “finding my calling/purpose” as an idol. In essence, I felt like my life was not complete/I could not move forward until I figured out my specific calling. And when I examined my heart, it was so true. I had put this idea of having a purpose for serving God as an idol over just living completely for God. Check your heart. Are you still completely satisfied with God without knowing a clear purpose in life?
5) Don’t discount your circumstances. Don’t discount the people around you.
Interestingly, some of the most influential people who shaped my spiritual life are not pastors, but are all working professionals.
My youth pastors were Pastor Bernie and Pastor Thomas, and oddly enough, as Pastor Bernie jokingly once said, “They were the best youth pastors in Chicagoland without a seminary degree.”
My parents, who love God and pray a lot more than me, have been faithfully working at a dry cleaners for the last 30+ years. It’s hard to argue with my mom when I vent about how I don’t enjoy med school when she talks about working at the cleaners for +70 hrs/week.
Maybe there was a reason that God placed these specific people in my life? I believe so. God uses the people in our lives to speak to us.
6) Passion should not be the primary factor of going into ministry
In terms of choosing between medicine and ministry, one tension I always had was that I was so passionate about studying the Word of God and doing “ministry” but I was not nearly as passionate about studying biology and diseases.
But as I talked to people and thought about it, this should always be the case! Our passion for God and His Word should always override anything and everything else we do in this world.
As Tim Lee aptly put, “Every Christian should have a desire to go to seminary.” Basically, he meant that as Christians we should all have a desire to learn more about God and the Bible.
Here’s an excerpt from an awesome Gchat conversation I had with Benny Kim on why I wanted to go to seminary:
Me: i really like studying the Bible and stuff, i get real into it
Benny: yea of course
ur supposed to
lol
Me: haha yea
Benny: it’s living and active
how can it not?
Nicely put Benny. It should be the norm getting excited about God’s Word for every Christian. Just because you’re passionate, doesn’t mean you’re called. Make sure there are other factors beyond passion for ministry driving you.
7) Absolutely DO NOT go into ministry for the wrong reasons
Matthew 23:1-7 1 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: 2 “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 “Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; 6 they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; 7 they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called ‘Rabbi’ by others.
My first thoughts from this passage were, “Pshhh. Those foolish Pharisees and their phylacteries. Glad I’m not like them.”
But God repeatedly put this passage on my heart, so I figured He was trying to tell me something. And after awhile I realized, maybe my motives were not that dissimilar from the Pharisees’:
-Everything they do is done for people to see
-They love the place of honor, the most important seats in the synagogues (at church), to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, to be called ‘Rabbi’ (aka Pastor) by others
I had to ask myself—do I want to go into ministry for the GLORY. Say it with me now. Guh-Lor-Eee—that is, the little guy inside my heart that wants to be DA MAN, that wants to be God. Did I want to do ministry for Respect? Approval from people? Fame? Love? Being more desirable? Control? Power? Fulfilling self-centered standards?
I don’t know the reasons why exactly people end up going into full-time ministry and whether God calls them with a thundering voice & bright light from the heavens or whatnot, but make sure to check your heart.
-Are you willing to do ministry even if you fail miserably and you get absolutely no recognition or glory?
-Are you willing to do ministry even if you end up as a single pastor of a 10-person church in the middle of Montana for the rest of your life?
Some questions to ponder.
8) Character, character, character
This past winter retreat was a gentle reminder of God’s heart for me. I felt like He was saying to me: “Frankie, it doesn’t matter what you do, if you can’t freakin even obey my commands. Just obey, follow me, love me, and everything will turn out ok.”
As Pastor Yun pointed out in Ecclesiastes 12:13:
13 Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.
And looking back—the Andy Stanley sermon on character was appropriately entitled: “It is Always a Mistake To Decide What You Do Before You Decide Who You Want To Be “
Watch it! http://vimeo.com/9286835
I think Pastor Min summed it up nicely for me when he told me:
“What’s most important is our hearts, our character. Everything else (our jobs, roles in life) are simply AVENUES of expressing Jesus in us.
But if the love of Jesus Christ is not overflowing out of us, and we have no character, then it doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor or a pastor because Jesus will not be seen through us.”
It shouldn’t matter whether you’re a pastor or not, but you should strive to have the characteristics of a pastor—compassionate, loving, etc BECAUSE we are ALL striving to have the characteristics of Jesus anyway.
9) Practically speaking, what to do, what to do? O.o
Just make a freaking choice. Whether it’s a career choice, or whether you end up marrying Mary Jane or Betty Jo, just pray, get counsel, pray some more, and make a wise Biblical decision. Then go with it.
Think about it. Back in the day, people didn’t even have choices. For example, if your father was a blacksmith, you were going to be a blacksmith. No qualms. No complaints. That’s it.
Does that mean God was LESS glorified because Billy Joe had no choice but to be a blacksmith? Of course not! I think about the greeters at Wal-mart. Is God LESS glorified in them because of their job? Of course not! Why? Because God cares more about character, our hearts (see above) than what we do.
To sum it up simply: God calls us to love God and love others. Is it easy? No way. There are definitely days where I feel so lonely, confused, depressed, overwhelmed, and I literally sit there crying playing some Christian folk tunes on my guitar and uploading them onto youtube. But I press on. Because of grace. Because of hope.
I want to conclude with 3 of my favorite verses.
Matthew 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
This is in the context of Jesus telling us not to worry about our needs in life. Though it’s easy to think that Jesus is only referring to our basic needs such as food and clothing, He states in the first verse of the passage, “Do not worry about YOUR LIFE.” This principle of not worrying and seeking God first can be applied to every area of our lives, including our calling and choices. Don’t worry, but seek first.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
Remember, God is the Creator of the universe. He is in control over space, time, and matter. If we really believe God is sovereign over every molecule in the universe including our lives, and if we really believe in His promises through His Word, what is there to fear? Seriously.
But it’s an issue of FAITH. Do we have enough FAITH to trust in this Almighty God?
1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Hmmm... 
Frankie, I miss you. Thanks for writing this post. Hope you’re doing well, brother!